I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
