Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
