How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
