So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
