i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
