Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
