That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
