I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
