Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
