operation have a gay friend backfired
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
