Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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