we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
its liver damage thursday
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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