Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
