If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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