Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
