i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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