I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
