well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
