He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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