is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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