Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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