did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
