And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
