Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
