hell yes lets make some ravioli
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
