They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
