the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
