She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
