Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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