I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
