This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
