I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
