ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
