I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Less talking, more tequila
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize