Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
