There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
