remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
