I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
