well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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