He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
