We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
