i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just gift wrapped bread.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize