I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize