Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
