my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
