You made me cry and you don't even care
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
