I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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