Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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