ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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