She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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