I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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