If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
