I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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