I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
