Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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