they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
