why didn't you poke me back
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
