I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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