But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
