Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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