Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
