dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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