i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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