I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
