Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
